Freaky Good Man

For some reason my ass is not suppose to get to California anytime soon. I should be on a plane right now headed to San Diego. Instead I am here at my house typing in my blog in a t-shirt and boxer briefs. I am here for two reasons; one is that our San Diego event didn’t turn out to have as many registrations as we thought. So it was just smart for me to stay here instead of spending the money to fly, get a hotel and rental car. Our business associate that is in Cali can handle the number of registrations we had solo, so no big deal. Other than I wanted to go chill on the beach and hangout. Secondly my business partner buried his grandfather today and I wanted to show some support. That explains the t-shirt and boxer briefs. I just got in from the funeral and got directly out of my suit.

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I read an article in the AJC the other day that was written by a gentleman who writes for the Washington Post. He wrote about the lack of black men in the church. Now he didn’t bash black men, he just gave his on personal account of why he hasn’t been to church. He talked about how he was actually a licensed minister and that he use to be very active in his church and even misses certain aspects of it.

The article to me was not a black man’s article. To me it was an article about a disconnect from men in general with church, but since he and I are both black men, I can live with his topic and will try to share my thoughts on the topic as a black man.

I am at a similar point in my life as this writer. However, he is married with two children. I would hope that I wouldn’t let my spouse and kids go to church alone, but if he is at the point that I am, I can somewhat feel his pain.

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I have had a few comments on the blog recently that make me want to put this out there. I write quite a bit of stuff on my blog because I enjoy writing and I enjoy the feedback. But let me be very clear, there is no way in the hell you can try to judge me or figure me out by reading my blog. I DO NOT write about 100% of my experiences in life. If i did so I wouldn’t have time to run my business, date, live life, play ball, travel, etc etc. This is for my entertainment first and foremost. If I can bring some joy or be a diversion for other people that’s great.

This blog is the highlight of maybe 50% of the things that happen in my life. You can not analyze a person completely with 50% of the information. So for those of you that have decided to read me. Understand that i am a very complex man and with out 100% of the knowledge you will get a 50% Failing grade. Now of course you can get an idea of who I am, but not to the point where by just reading my blog you know me. You have to experience me to know me. And I don’t mean that in a sexual way.

Damn enjoy the read and stop trying to figure me out, Shit!

Why are people so infatuated with marriage? Now let me preface this by saying that I actually believe in marriage wholeheartedly. Look forward to being married and having kids someday in the future. But, why in the hell are people so caught up with being married instead of just improving themselves and enjoying life.

I get it all the time. Why are you not married? I got it at my family cookout on the Fourth this weekend. One of our family friends was just raving about how she was going to hook me up with some of the single ladies at her church. I know she means well. But, I am thinking in my mind, she better have a nice ass and like to suck a good dick or it ain’t going to happen. lol Now before you good people that read my blog, get your panties in a knot, I know it’s more to a good woman than a nice ass and good head skills. Trust me I do. I have written about it in my blog before. But, when this family friend was saying this, in my cynical mind (which I am not sure when it got that way) I was like, I don’t need any help finding women. I even in a round about way told her to becareful who she sends to me, because I didn’t want any of them to get their feelings hurt. Ya know, good church girl meets freaky good man and she leaves church forever never to be seen again. lmao

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Busted! I pride myself on being upfront and honest in dealing with people. I also pride myself on not stepping out on someone I am dating or seeing seriously. Well nobody is perfect damn it. This is an entry about the time I got busted and its actually not that bad, but its bad. lol

Now this happen a few years ago when I was in my last relationship. I honestly do not remember if me and my ex was having problems or what, I don’t want to use that as an excuse. We rarely had problems and the ones we did have were not major. However, I do remember my ex was out of town at the time. I went over to a female friend’s apartment, we will call her Ms J. Me and Ms J had done absolutely nothing together. No kiss, no spank on the ass, no sex, nothing.

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You know its funny; I had to check myself the other day. I get asked if I am dating and the next question is always why not. For me my standard answer is that I am caught up with my business. Which is mostly true. But, the other part I have to be honest with myself about is that, at this point in my life, having a new business, my funds are tight. So, subconsciously I don’t even pursue a woman, because I know at this time I can’t provide the things that a woman would want. Even as far as just dating. Hell, I like to go out and enjoy myself with a woman without too much concern about the budget, but now it’s the first thing on my mind. And I am not writing this for any sympathy or saying that women are materialistic. It’s not that at all. Just had to be honest with myself and I decided to write about it.

I have always said that I wanted to be a complete package for the woman in my life and I feel that I am. I just know how it is to be in a relationship when the other person doesn’t have much. I think that’s really the thing. I have always been the provider and not to be able to provide like I would want to is a humbling experience. Some of life lessons can be tough, but as I go through it I already know that things are good. Sometimes you just get to a point where you are ready to fast forward to a better part of life. Feel free to respond, but again this is not a woe is me session or cry for sympathy, just writing.

What should I do?

This is something that actually happened almost a year ago and still not quite sure what to do about it. Let me know what you guys think.

For those of you that may not be aware I have a page on BP (black planet). I actually have two pages. One that I use as a link to this blog and another one that I call my regular page. The regular page tells a little more about me, but nothing major. On that page I do have pictures of me on there.

Last year around graduation time for colleges (May) I went to an alumni party. I told one of my boys to come to the party because it was a lot of eye candy in the house. At the party, there was a guy taking pictures of people in the crowd to put on his site. He ended up taking one of me and my boy and a few days later it was up on his site. I thought it was a good picture, so I copied it and pasted it on my BP site.

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I have been asked, what I think are a couple of interesting questions by a couple of people who have read most of my entries to the blog. The questions were: do I think I could be in a committed relationship based on the experiences I have had? The other question along the same lines has been, do you think you can find a woman that satisfies you?

One of the reasons I have been asked those questions is mainly because I have experienced swinging and 3 somes. The thing that people need to understand, is that when I am in a serious committed relationship, I have never done any of those things. Both of those situations can cause jealous to creep into your relationship. For that reason, I would not jeopardize my relationship for those experiences. Those experiences do not hold more value to me than a serious relationship or the feelings of the person I am in a serious relationship with.

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It’s been an interesting short ride since I started this blog. I have enjoyed the majority of the responses. Some have been sent direct and some are posted on the blog. Even the ones that don’t quite get it have been interesting. I felt compelled to write a little more about me and the reason for creating the blog.

The whole blog thing was an idea I saw on someone’s personal page and thought that it was a fun idea. It also made me think of all the times my close friends would tell me how much they like hearing about the things that I have experienced. So, I decided to create a blog, to put into words some of my most interesting past experiences as well as share in some of the things that are going on in my current life.

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I have been asked why I chose the name freaky_good_man. I think after a person has read most of my blog entries they will get a good idea. But, to break it down for you, I am going to share with you why I consider myself a freak and a good man.

Freaky to me is a relative term. Some things one person may consider freaky another may not. I think a lot of people tend to think a high sex drive equates to freaky. To me that’s just a high sex drive. For me freakiness is all about doing the normal things as well as things that are considered out of the box for most people. Some of the things I am going to list I have done, some I would like to continue to do and some I can live with or without.

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Following the path of the uncharted. My business partner and I had a vision for the direction of our company. Our vision is coming to the forefront, but the path in which it is taking is different from what we had anticipated and today it finally hit us over the head, that we may be on to something.

If you have read any of my previous blogs you know that December and January were tough months for my business. It was to a point where my business partner and I sat down; we talked about selling off our event side of the business so we could concentrate on what we perceived to be the focal point of our business. The original focal point was the publishing side, which has been giving us fits trying to get off the ground. We still believe in the concept, but things have to happen when they need to.

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I know I have posted several of my sexual adventures here on my blog, but that is not by any stretch of the imagination the complete me. Those were just easy things to write about because they were fun and bring back good memories. With all of that said, I have had one blessed week and I have to thank God my Father for keeping me. There have been times when me and my business partner sit and wonder what just hit us. This past December and January were rough. For the first time ever as an adult Christmas was bleak. And that was tough for me, because I have really enjoyed being able to give to my family during that time of year. Yes, I know it’s not all about the gifts and presents, but I still like to be in the position to do that.

But, this past week, so many things have come together for our business, that all I can do is say thank you Father. I just pray that you continue to be with us and guide us.

The vision for our business is a big one. Because we know where this can go, it has been so humbling that we haven’t been able to get the business to take off like it should. But, people I tell you. God is so good, that if he continues to bless us, in the next year to 18 months you will be reading about us in places like Black Enterprise. And I am not saying that to be boastful. That’s just how awesome God is moving. To see how this started off as an idea on a piece of paper to where we are going is so rewarding and we are just getting started.

Thanks for reading and maybe this will encourage someone. Don’t give up. Never give up.