Freaky Good Man

My part time hussle I do on the side of my business is officiating youth football. One of the dynamics that has always been interesting to me is the people that coach youth sports, in particularly football.

The first scenario is a catch 22 that happens in hoods all over the country. Now, the youth leagues that I officiate have diverse backgrounds. Some are straight hood and some are from middle class areas. One of the things we always see with some of the hood teams is that there is a fairly large number of the coaches that are dope boys coaching the teams.

The reason this is a catch 22 is that if these guys are not coaching the teams, there may not be anyone else that will step up to take the time and at least attempt to coach these kids. So, I have always given kudos to men that take the time out of their life to help and teach another person’s child all that goes with coaching which includes sportsmanship and some of life’s other lessons.

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This is a story that happened close to my b-day back in April, but I never finished it until now. I think she had just a tad of crazy on her. I met this female at happy hour. Real sexy female that was a nurse and had a cool personality. She is in the process of going through a divorce, she has 3 kids and lives way the fuck in no mans land. Because of the pending divorce, the 3 kids and where she lives, I would not consider her someone I would date long term. Let me clarify. The divorce isn’t a major issue although I would not date someone seriously until they have had time to get over the divorce and the divorce was final. I do know some people have long drawn out divorces, but this didn’t seem to be the case. I don’t have any kids, so a female with 3 kids is too many for me. If a woman has one child, I can get with that. Plus this female said she didn’t want to have any more kids. I still want kids. Anybody that knows Atlanta, knows that people are spread out all over the place. She lives 54 minutes away from me without any traffic.

Anyway, onto the crazy part. We met Thursday night. We hang out for dinner and a movie on Sunday. Everything went well, we laughed a lot and cuddled a little so a good first date. Her kids are with their dad on Monday’s so we decided to have drinks and relax at her house Monday night. All that day on Monday we are texting each other and have some fun exchanges via texts.

I get to her house that night and we have a couple of drinks get to know each other better and relax. The previous night I had put my hand on the back of her neck and she was very tense, so I told her I would give her a massage. That was before we decided to meet the next night, but I came prepared to work on her. She wanted to have her massage in her bedroom. So we get to her bed room and she jumps on the bed and lays on her stomach. I try to work on her back and neck, but she had on a shirt that was getting in the way, not to mention her bra. So, I tell her to take it off and she hesitated, but obliged me. Now she is topless on the bed laying face down and all she has on is these tight ass boy shorts on. She was a little shorty about 5′1″ but had some track like legs that I was loving.

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When I hear a good joke I try to pass it on from time to time because laughter is important to me. Hope you will get a little giggle from these or they bring a smile to your face.

Joke 1
TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.

THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER,
‘GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.

THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I’M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.’

THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS,

‘YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!’

‘DEAD?’ SAYS HIS FRIEND, ‘WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?’

‘WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.’ HIS FRIEND SAYS,

‘COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.’

‘A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?’

‘WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW… TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!’

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It’s that time of year again, Morehouse homecoming! My normal hang out crew is not flying into town this year, so I am not going to do it up like normal. However, there will be a few FGM sightings around town this weekend. For those of you that are in Atlanta, here are a few spots to check out. If you don’t know, Morehouse and Spelman homecoming parties are usually real strong and a lot of fun to be had by all. I will update this as I find out more, but this is a good start for those looking to get into something this weekend in Atlanta.

Thursday Night
Leopard Lounge - This has become a regular hot spot for a minute now. But, homecoming weekend will make sure that this spot is going to be off the chain. This is a can’t miss spot and the ratio should be a good one for both the men and the ladies. It is usually free before 10 and $20 after. If you get there after 9:30 be prepared to wait in line. Age range is late 20’s to late 30’s.

Royalty - Phipps Plaza. This is event will be at Phipps plaza where Niketown apparently use to be located. I didn’t get the memo that Niketown had shut down. This should be a nice spot as well and will be a all 20 something crowd, meaning early to late 20’s crowd.

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Ok, this post idea came after I had to laugh at this guy that plays on my football team. He is kind of a funny looking guy and he admits that. He ends up being the target of some jokes from our team and our opponents. He got in to a trash talking match with one of the teams we were playing and decides to reply to them by saying: “Google me Nigga!” Of course they were like WTF? So he was like Google me and find out who I am. Now the reality is, when you Google this fool you wouldn’t find out a damn thing. lmao But, I do think that was a clever come back especially if there was something for somebody to find on Google.

Anyway, I have had a stat tracker attached to my blog just so I could follow the number of hits I get. It has a few interesting statistics that it keeps up with in addition to hits. It will let you know what country people are visiting from which is pretty cool, I was keeping a count active count and stopped, but I have had visitors from over 20 countries. Now the majority of those hits from countries outside the US have been because of people Googling different topics and my blog comes up in the search.

I thought I would share with you what the top 5 searches are that bring up my page.

1. Why doesn’t a guy call you back?
This is one of the biggest searches on Google that brings up my page. It comes up because of a blog entry I posted that commented from another male’s perspective on the topic. I think there were some valid points. But, at the end of the day, if a guy doesn’t call back just move on. If a person can’t show that courtesy who needs them? One of the things I didn’t touch on in the entry was people go out all the time and meet people. They could be in a festive move or have had a few drinks when they met you. Once they got home they could have simply had a change of heart. Regardless of the reason a guy doesn’t call you back, there should be more energy placed on moving forward to the next person rather than wasting so much time and energy on why someone didn’t call back.

Here is the link: Why a man doesn’t call you back.

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Ok, I have been a guy that prides himself on having orgasm control. In particularly holding off cumming during the initial 10 mins when its really feeling great. The flip side of this is that once I hold off the orgasm it not easy to orgasm on command or exactly when I want to. Now this has never been a real issue, most women appreciate a guy that is not a minute man. I did have an ex that told me after about 6 mins of sex she was good. She told me this after we had been together for awhile and never requested we shorten the sex, she just said that after about 6 mins. the other was extra.

For those of you that have read my blog for awhile also know that I am very competitive and have been known to count the number of orgasms. To me that is a way to kind of keep score. Most women don’t get it, but I am goal oriented and as I said competitive. So for me, I like being able to have goals to shoot for or even records to break. lol It’s really a man thing, so don’t shoot me.

My question is, how long is enough for sex? Or does it even matter? Are you ok as long as you have at least one orgasm? I know most women are going to say, I don’t look at my watch or time it. I do get that, but in general terms what does it take to make it a satisfying experience?

What’s up people. Been a little busy and need to catch up with the blog. The last time I posted was getting ready to enjoy my B-day week. So here is a quick update on what I did.

My b-day was Monday the 27th.

Sunday 26th - A good friend and business associate came to town so we had drinks Sunday night. Craig is a white guy from the UK, so I brought in my b-day at midnight laughing, drinking Jack and Coke and hearing this dude say “mate” every other sentence.

Monday 27th - Slept in that day as I had been on the road to Mississippi Friday and Saturday for business. That night my mom took me to dinner for my favorite dinner a nice juicy steak and baked potato. She was kind enough to let us sit at the bar to watch the NBA playoffs as well. This old drunk white guy sat next to us and talked us to death, but he was pretty funny and bought me a b-day drink.

Tuesday 28th - Slept in again. lol Hey it’s my b-day week. Went over to my grandparents house where my uncle cooked one of my other favorites - ribs. They had me a half slab of ribs ready for me when I got there. They were so damn good. My uncle can throw down on the grill and in the kitchen.

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I was on one of my favorite message boards and a guy asked the question: Could you marry a chic that doesn’t swallow?

The responses were pretty varied and some were a bit sad.

75% of the guys said it didn’t matter.
25% said they would end it.

In my mind, I think it’s crazy that something like that would determine if you would marry a person or not. I tell any woman, that if a guy says he doesn’t want to be with you because of something like that, he isn’t the type of guy you need in your life. As most of you know, sex is important to me and I think it is fantastic. The reality is that it takes more than sex to have a great relationship and it surely takes more than one sex act to make sex bad.

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Ok, this is a bit different. A guy posted this on a message board I check out from time to time and I thought this was a very entertaining. The guy swears it’s a true story. It’s worth the read.

AZ the Aziatic blares in the speakers. “You know the story how the thugs live and worry/ Ducked down in car seats, heats mandatory.” As I pull out of parking lot of the Smoove and turn right I think back to the last time I was in this area two days ago. The street was cordoned off with police tape because of an incident where a police cruiser crashed into another vehicle. I took a detour upon seeing flashing lights fearing that all the commotion was a random sobriety checkpoint. My head was much clearer this time as I accelerated to 40 mph and cranked the volume to its max level. I had left the club early after texting my favorite dancer and learning that she was working downtown at Magic City. I didn’t feel like making the drive and decided to resort to plan B. Plan B was a ho that advertised her services on a local chat line that I contacted earlier in the day. I always felt a little uncomfortable about not being in control of the situation when I went to a Shorty’s crib for an incall and this particular one had my spidey senses tingling. Oh well, if some grimey shit goes down then I probably deserve it I think and laugh to myself. I’ve been struggling with my addiction to hoes and strippers for some time. I used to keep track of how much money I wasted on the services of women from Amsterdam to Argentina but had long lost count. Every man has his vice, for some it is alcohol, crack, or gambling. My Achillies heel had always been pussy for sell. This is the last time I tell myself for the thousandth time and re-focus.

As I pull up to the apartment building I pull out my page plus phone purchased for instances when I don’t desire my primary cell number to be exchanged. I had learned my lesson in the past and now each of my alter-egos possesses his own cell phone number and e-mail address. My impending sense of discomfort grows slightly as she tells me that she will be down shortly with a friend. I briefly contemplate pulling off, that is until I see her friend. Damn, I think to myself, this bitch is built like a brick shithouse. My original contact had proven to be disappointing however, it was obvious that she had lied about her age, body dimensions and overall appearance. As I walk up the stairs and make small talk I observe my surroundings for potential set-ups, law enforcement activity and an egress route all the while trying to determine whether or not “friend with ass” would be down for my soon to come indecent proposal. The ideal scenario would involve ugly hoe understanding that she was not what I was looking for and accepting a small amount of cash to just shut up and chill out while it went down with her girl. Tonight was not ideal and the best I could manage was talking ugly girl into a threesome. Oh well, she wanted her cash and I wanted friend with ass. It was her place and her share was less than taking friend with ass to a hotel room so money was exchanged and clothes started to drop. Thats when the phone rang.

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Please take a look at this video. It touches on what I think is one of the biggest issues with black America right now. Black men and women are taking a stance against each other that is only making the black community weaker. I will post my thoughts of the video below, but I ask you to take a look at it as well and share what you think.

I honestly don’t know where to start with this video. The male voice over in the video basically threw black women under the bus. At the end of the video the blonde haired black female basically said it was a wrap in her trying to date black men.

The unfortunate thing that I see in all of this is at some point black men and women have become enemies to each other. We no longer are on the same team and no longer support each other. We have all taken what white America says about us and have internalized it and know spew the hate towards our own. How in the hell did we allow this to happen?

This is the reality as I see it. White women complain about dating as well as black women. White men and black men can’t complain about it as much because it makes them look like they are whinning. So you mostly hear about women complaining about dating. As the old saying goes, the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Dating and finding the right person is not a race issue. It is a people issue. It is difficult for everyone to find “the one” regardless of race or gender. We always think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

If we continue to go down this road of blamng each other, the black community is in for bleak times.

Just a quick note: To the male voice over guy. Oprah was approached and dated a white man. Ebert of Siskel and Ebert movie critics actually dated Oprah before she went syndicated. My guess is that there are probably a few more.

My birthday is coming up in a little over 10 days (April 27th) and I have a few ideas of things that I want to do, but I am not 100% sure yet. The activity that seems to be coming up the most is me making a visit to the swingers club. It has been (as I get my wallet to find my expired membership card to the club) over 2 years since I made that trip. The dilema that this brings up (not really) is who to take. Do I take someone I already know, take someone new that I recently have met and do I take someone who has never been? Some of my most memorable experiences have been with women that are going for the first time. Just seeing their transformation from being nervous as hell when we get there to wanting to know when we can come again at the end of the night is priceless.

I know maybe I should do another first date at the swingers club. lol I know, I will do a FGM blind date swingers club email contest. The woman that catches my attention the most via email can meet me at the club for our first date and we see what happens.

Wow, I just came up with that, that would be hot. My mind sometimes, damn. lol For those that have not read my first swingers club experience it was actually during a first date I was having. It wasn’t planned that way, but that’s where we ended up and had hell of a time.

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One of the things that can mess you up when you date is finding someone that you are attracted to and even have the same freaky likes, but you simply like the things that please you done to you differently than they do it. It sucks, but everybody has preferences and likes to receive pleasure in their on way.

I met a real cool female that had a lot of the same likes as I had. When we started cuddling everything was great and she felt great in my arms. We had long passionate kisses and just had some real good foreplay. But when it came for me to eat her pussy, I fucking swung and missed (that’s a baseball reference since the season started lol). Now, she told me when we were talking that she has always been hard to please orally and she would have to tell guys what to do. I am pretty confident with my skills so I was not sweating the shit at all.

I have a sucking and licking technique that I use that usually gets rave reviews. One female described the way I eat pussy like it was me french kissing her pussy. I love the way that sounds, but I don’t think that truly explains how I do it. I usually start off just using the tongue to get the kitty wet and warmed up. Then I start sucking and licking the clit at the same time. The sucking motion keeps the clit engorged and then the tongue massages the clit but it’s a simultaneous one - two punch. I typically will vary the licking motion and see what tongue motion gives me the best response then I try to stick with it. As I feel the clit getting harder I will sometimes suck a little harder cause I have found that once the clit gets really hard the woman is about to cum.

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Now don’t go share this at bible study, but porn can be very good for your relationship. I know some of you that are really into church right now are going to say the FGM has lost his damn mind. I have been down the road of celibacy on more than one occasion. I have done it twice; once as a single person and once in a relationship. During that period of time I did not watch any porn and of course no sex. Both times the celibacy period was over a year in length. I am not saying that to say that a year was this ridiculously long time, I know people that are celibate for longer periods of time than that, I am just giving you an idea that it wasn’t just a 30 day thing or just during the 40 days of Lent.

Now during that time of celibacy I focused on my walk and being a better Christian. At the end of the day, I am honestly not sure where that period of celibacy left me or frankly if it was worth it. Now, that is not what this blog is about, so we can table that for another discussion, but what I learned during those times of celibacy was that my sexual imagination was not as vivid as when I didn’t watch porn. Which was a good thing during celibacy, but once I was not celibate it was not so good. I think I have a pretty creative mind when it comes to exploring sexually, so I am not saying that if you don’t watch porn you can’t have a creative sex life.

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In one of my recent blogs one of my readers mentioned in her comment something I have always believed. We don’t trust the people we are with in relationships enough in most cases to share with them our most intimate sexual desires or fantasies.

The thing that dooms us from being completely open is that we get so caught up presenting our good girl / good boy persona. We try to prove we are good upstanding citizens and / or Christians (or other religion) in order to attract a person into a serious or meaningful relationship. Then when it comes to sharing that sexual side completely we feel like the two are in conflict with each other. Yes, guys have it easier than ladies when it comes to being able to be open about fantasies, but guys get it to. A guy has to be very careful what he shares with a woman cause she will pull the same card as a guy will if the shit seems to be a little too much for them.

I personally think one of the biggest dysfunctions the church plays in our lives is when it comes to communicating about sex. The Church tries so hard to make sex a bad thing so the young and unmarried won’t do it, that when a person is a consenting adult, married or single; they have a hard time being comfortable with their own desires because they have heard from day one that sex is a bad thing. Now think about that person having to share those desires with someone they care about. The risk becomes too great for them to share their deepest darkest desires.

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Ok Ladies,

This post is specifically for you. Most of you have a man, boyfriend or husband that shuts you out when it’s football season. He either goes to the basement and doesn’t want to be bothered or he heads out to watch the game with his boys.

Now let me say this before I continue. A man needs time with his boys or to himself for that matter. So, if his only time away from you is watching the game this may not be for you. This is for the ladies out there that want to get SOME of the time they are losing with their guy back during football season.

Keep in mind that when a man is watching the game one of the things he hates is having to take the time to explain the game every few minutes. Take the time to try to learn the game. I guarantee you your man will give you much props.

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