My part time hussle I do on the side of my business is officiating youth football. One of the dynamics that has always been interesting to me is the people that coach youth sports, in particularly football.
The first scenario is a catch 22 that happens in hoods all over the country. Now, the youth leagues that I officiate have diverse backgrounds. Some are straight hood and some are from middle class areas. One of the things we always see with some of the hood teams is that there is a fairly large number of the coaches that are dope boys coaching the teams.
The reason this is a catch 22 is that if these guys are not coaching the teams, there may not be anyone else that will step up to take the time and at least attempt to coach these kids. So, I have always given kudos to men that take the time out of their life to help and teach another person’s child all that goes with coaching which includes sportsmanship and some of life’s other lessons.
My problem is relatively obvious and that is, we have dope boys teaching and coaching our kids. Lets keep this honest, a child will sometimes confide in their coach before a parent. Kids look up to their coaches as role models. Sometimes and I have seen this frequently, coaches become kids second or in bad situations first parent. With this being the case, is it good that these guys are taking the time to coach our kids or would it be better if they didn’t? Secondly, if you are a parent and you had a suspicion that your child’s coach was into some sort of illegal activity would you pull him from the team? Even if it looks like he is teaching your child the game and sportsmanship correctly. Now, I know the average mom from a regular neighborhood will probably say she would pull her child, but what if you are a mom in the hood and it’s either your child play for this coach or maybe not play at all.
My personal opinion is that I think if there was a better option for a coach that it probably would be one. But, I don’t know that 100%. My biggest issue with the dope boys is that from my years of experience as a coach and official that these cats tend to like to bet on their teams. Meaning that they have these bets with other coaches or other dope boys from rival teams that they are betting on these youth football games. I think that is an incredibly bad thing. What happens is that the coach starts coaching strictly to win the bet at all cost. Good sportsmanship and correct coaching goes out the window. As an official I have stopped games that have been blowouts cause one of the dope boy coaches is trying to run up the score just to prove he can do it or to cover his bet. The coach will usually be a little mad, but when I tell them that we are going to have good sportsmanship on my field they will ultimately come and apologize and agree with my decision.
Now the other coaching question that has come up just recently happen. There was a gentleman as one of the coaches of a team that was very clearly gay. This coach was white coaching an inner city team. Which is something you see all the time. But, the fact that he was somewhat flaming caught me off guard. Now he wasn’t out there twisting or being over the top, but it was clear he was feminine. Please understand this before I continue. I am not in anyway suggesting that this gentleman was doing or even thought about doing anything negative to these kids. That is not my concern at all and is not the road I am going down. In that case 1 + 1 does not equal 2. I also do NOT think he is teaching the kids about his lifestyle or trying to recruit them.
My question is, as a parent, would you want what appears to be an openly gay feminine man coaching your son football?
My personal opinion is that I would not want a gay coach teaching my son football. I would however, be ok with an openly gay man teaching my son in regular school.
On a closing note, to clarify why I can have an opinion on this subject; even though I do not have children I have given my time back to the community as a little league baseball coach and a youth football coach. So, I am not someone just sitting on the sidelines talking. Also as an official I make sure I set a good example on the field and I let the guys know that I expect good sportsmanship on my field at all times. I will sit a kid down in a minute for cussing or using the word nigga on my field. I have also been a big brother and mentor at different times of my life.
That reminds me of a quick side story that happened last football season. I was officiating a game that had a team from the hood playing and it was there 14 and under team playing. The 14 and under team in youth football is considered the big boys because at this point a kid can play middle school ball or even Junior Varsity, so these kids are the oldest and biggest out at the parks.
The coach of this particular team is cussing because his team is playing poorly. I throw a flag on the coach and give him an unsportsmanship sideline warning. The coach is asking me what the flag is for and I tell him it was for his language on the sideline. Do you know this coach had the nerve to tell me that his kids cuss as much as him so it was ok. This dude just didn’t get it. Which goes back to who we have coaching our kids should be a concern for our parents. Just because someone is gracious enough to give their time to coach does not mean that you should settle for this person to be the coach of your child.