Freaky Good Man

Your blog inspired me to start mine. Your thoughts were fun, insightful, entertaining and uncut. You turned out being a cool “internet” friend. We shared a few laughs and actually a few phone calls. I was impressed that you were fighting for yourself and your future. You didn’t seem to want to just get by with a sexy face and a nice body. I could always tell you were a bit torn with some of the things that were in your life, but who isn’t? You seemed to be putting up a good fight on finding your path. I will never forget how you texted me and told me you were thinking of doing porn. I think I saved the texts for over a year. I have to tell you my heart sanked. It wasn’t some “captain save a hoe” moment, but I truly felt OH NO DON’T DO IT! My gut said you were a good woman just trying to find her way and you didn’t know where else to turn. If you remember (I do very vividly) I invited you to hang out with me while I was in Vegas around the exact time you were heading to Cali to start filming. I was wishing and hoping you just needed some time to get away from things and re-think what you were about to do. Unfortunately (in my opinion) you went through with it. I can tell by some of the message board stuff that was posted that it was a stressful time for you and you struggled with the decision although you publicly stood by it. I remember when you told me that you had actually started doing some scenes and was hanging with a couple female porn stars as we were on the phone talking. When I saw your first video, I didn’t see the vibrant person I had gotten to know. A small part of it was hot as I saw you doing some things that you told me were turn ons, but as the camera went back to your face you seemed like a lost soul. In my opinion the porn world never got to see the pretty you, but maybe that’s how it’s suppose to be. We were out of contact and you popped up via email one day and we briefly caught up. You shared with me your new video blog and I thought, cool she is getting back to a medium where she can express herself. Once again, I saw a shell of the person I thought I had gotten to know. Several of your blogs were done while intoxicated and it just didn’t shed a good light on you. Now here I am writing to you out of the blue on a late Saturday night. Why? I am not sure, I guess I’m hoping that things are going well for you. Also, to let you know I am still rooting for you. Good luck to you my “internet” friend. Be blessed.