September 14, 2006

Dating For Men 101

Filed under: General

I was on the site Wikipedia.com looking up the word seduction for something I was writing. Wikipedia is a site that you can use to look up words and things. It’s billed as an online encyclopedia. When I looked up the definition of seduction at the very bottom of the page it had some links, one of the links was seduction and psychology. When I clicked on the link an advertisement for a self-help book on dating for men came up. He listed basically a top ten things a man should know about dating. He actually listed 9 and the 10th one was a sales pitch.

When I read what he had to say, I actually agreed with him. But, I decided why listen to some man and I can ask the wonderful ladies that read my blog. Read this guys 1 - 9 reasons why men don’t do well dating and tell me if you agree or disagree with his theories.

“The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably
Make With Women—
And What To Do About It…”

Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women—And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes…

-By David DeAngelo, Author Of “Double Your Dating”

MISTAKE #1: Being
Too Much Of A “Nice Guy”

Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted “nice” guys?

Of course you have.

Just like me, I’m sure you’ve had attractive female friends that always seemed to date “jerks”… but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.

What’s going on here?

It’s actually very simple…

Women don’t base their choices of men on how “nice” a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Being nice doesn’t make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.

And being NICE doesn’t make a woman CHOOSE you.

I realize that this doesn’t make a lot of logical sense, and it’s hard to ACCEPT… but GET OVER IT.

Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you’ll NEVER have the success with women that you want.

MISTAKE #2: Trying To
“Convince Her To Like You”

What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like… but she’s just not interested?

Right! They try to “convince” the woman to feel differently.

Well, I have news for you… YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN “FEELS” WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!

Never, ever, EVER.

You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with “logic and reasoning”.

Think about it.

If a woman doesn’t “feel it” for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being “reasonable” with her?

But we all do it.

When a woman just isn’t interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.

Bad idea. One that will never work.

MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her
For Approval Or Permission

In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman’s “approval” or “permission”.

Another HORRIBLE idea.

Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them… EVER.

Don’t get me wrong here.

You don’t have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.

But if you think that treating a woman well means “always getting her approval and permission for things”, think again.

You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.

Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her…

MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts

How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn’t treat her even HALF as well as you did?

If you’re like me, then you’ve had it happen a LOT.

Well guess what?

It’s only NATURAL when this happens…

That’s right, I said NATURAL.

When you do these things, you send a clear message:

“I don’t think you’ll like me for who I am, so I’m going to try to buy your attention and affection”.
Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That’s right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.

MISTAKE #5: Sharing
“How You Feel” Too Early In
The Relationship With Her

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they “feel” too early on.

Attractive women are rare.

And they get a LOT of attention from men.

Most men don’t realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE

An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translates into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.

And guess what?

Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.

That’s right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying “You know, I really, REALLY like you” after one or two dates.

This signals to the woman that you’re just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast… and can’t control themselves.

Don’t do it. Lean back. Relax.

There’s a much better way…

MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women

Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.

But does the same apply for women?

Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their “attraction mechanisms” triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?

Think about it.

Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men… and they’re attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.

If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

But it’s not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.

And ANY guy can learn how…

MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It
Takes Money And Looks

One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they’ve even gotten started… because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money… or guys who are a certain height… or guys who are a certain age.

And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.

But MOST women are far more interested in a man’s personality than his wallet or his looks.

There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet…

And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.

YOU DO NOT have to “settle” for a woman just because you aren’t rich, tall, or handsome.

Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

MISTAKE #8: Giving Away
All Of Your Power To Women

Earlier I mentioned that it’s a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.

Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.

Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.

Another bad idea…

Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over… Women aren’t attracted to Wussies!

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing
EXACTLY What To Do In Each
Type Of Situation With Women

Now I’m going to blow your mind…

A woman ALWAYS knows what you’re thinking.

Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That’s ten TIMES.

I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you’re out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.

And if you don’t know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won’t help!

And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating…

Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical… everything.

If you don’t know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up… and LOSE EVERYTHING.

And you KNOW it.

It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman… from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.

10. Again, number 10 was a sales pitch to buy his book so I didn’t post it.

What do you think ladies? Is he right and if so how many of the points do you think he is right on?

I would have to say that he is pretty accurate and hits the nail on the head.

8 Comments »

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  1. I agree on points 1 - 8, but not on point 9. I actually enjoy seeing a guy try to figure out what to do next. It lets me know that he is just as nervous (or whatever) as I am. I think we all try to give off an air of confidence, but it is comforting to know that the other person is not always so sure of every move. I find that element endearing. There needs to be a balance, though. Too much fumbling and confusion falls into the “wussy” category.

    Comment by SpelDiva92 — September 15, 2006 @ 12:37 pm

  2. LOL- I agree with all of them.

    Comment by tjeanise — September 15, 2006 @ 10:04 pm

  3. Homeboy is really onto something. But LOL @ Mistake #9. If that ain’t the truth!

    Not knowing is a “mistake” because if I, the woman, knows what’s going on before he does, I can take total and complete advantage of the situation. And I have. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t.

    I’m not sayin’ he needs to be a Rocket Science Player, knowing how to smoothly transition from one step directly into the next step at EVERY turn. But he gotta have some BIT of a clue. ‘Cause if he’s totally clueless, he’s about to be taken for one hell of a ride - and most likely NOT the ride he wants to be on.

    Comment by J — September 17, 2006 @ 3:02 pm

  4. Well in a general sort of way he is right, but I would be careful not to put all women into this general catagory. Sometimes we are attracted to men for reasons we can’t explain ourselves…lol. I think alot of this advice could go for women as well, especially about not giving up too much power too early, and not putting it all out there ( your feelings) at once. You don’t want to overload the person, male or female. Women are drawn to strong me, we like to feel secure, and valued, and comfortable. And I totally agree that looks aren’t everything to us, I have dated some beautiful men that were jerks, and some average men that were so attractive to me. It’s all about balance, you have to find that balance, and people of color need to learn how to date, not just fall into a relationship with each person you meet, everyone is not relationship material, and you shouldn’t give your energy away to someone who is only there for a hot minute…that’s free advice from me boo.

    Comment by Charlene — September 20, 2006 @ 12:21 am

  5. I agree with the majority of those. Most “WOMEN” need more than looks to be attracted to a man. Especially if we’re talking more than sex. As far as women not liking nice guys it’s not that we don’t like nice guys we just don’t like “wussies” so to say. I personally like aggressive men who have a good head on their shoulders. Not kick your ass aggressive but a man who knows what he wants and is not afraid to go after it business wise or in the bedroom. And nobody wants a man that’s a pushover and does whatever you say, I mean who needs another kid around. Last, but definitely not least if there’s nothing about you that attracts me to you there is no amount of begging,pleading or buying that will change my mind.

    Comment by jocie72 — October 18, 2006 @ 6:03 pm

  6. hi there , i am linda desmond , i am single , i am looking for a honest man , god fear , i live in idaho

    Comment by linda — February 3, 2007 @ 10:16 am

  7. In my opinion he is right. but I would be careful not to put all women into the same category. and i think before making any relationship you can check your love horoscopes .

    Comment by mollrose — May 17, 2007 @ 6:43 am

  8. Tell it man, tell it!!!!!!! Finally a man that gets it. So when’s the first class being held. I know quite a few guys that would benefit from your ALL MIGHTY KNOWLEDGE. LOLOLOLOL

    Comment by lilsexyme2000 — June 5, 2007 @ 2:55 pm

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