This is the second situation that happened to me where it seems the woman is running. Let me know your opinion.
Situation #2
This is similar to situation 1 at the start, but is different. There was female that had made a few comments on the blog asking a few questions about some of my experiences. I tried to answer them the best I could. We ended up chatting and hitting it off to the point of us talking on the phone.
She is in N.C. so there was no meeting at the crib or anything along those lines. And yes she has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend is in Philly so it’s a long distance situation. After we hit it off and talked she shared with me that she wanted to experience a couple of the things that she had read in the blog with me.
She wanted me to take her to the swingers club and be her first anal experience. I was intrigued to say the least. But, she has a boyfriend. She tells me that they have an open relationship and that as long as she talked to him about it, he would be cool. I didn’t think that if she was going to do it, she should tell him. But, she did anyway and told him about wanting to try anal with me and then sent him the Analmazing! entry on my blog. She tells me that he was ok with it after she asked him.
In my mind it sounded suspect to me. If a man cares for a woman, he is not going to be so open to let her go and try anal with someone. At least that’s my take on it. In the mean time she had a trip planned to go see him for a week. I figured that if we were going to do anything that it would have to happen before that trip. I knew that if she went on the trip after telling him what she wanted to try some things with another man that he would be singing a different tune once they got together.
Now to get the full picture, she asked my advice on more than just my sexual adventures. She was in this long distance relationship and asked my opinion about that as well. She is single, no kids and would like to have kids and be married. The boyfriend just got divorced, has kids and doesn’t want to get married again or have kids. Now my advice was that she needed to give him some room. You can’t force him to want what you want. If you give a man room and he wants you, he will come running. Men like the chase.
Because of time constraints and schedules we were not able to meet before her trip. We plan to meet after she gets back. She tells me that she will call while on her trip and that it was ok for me to call. I give her a couple of days before I call and she never answers. After a few days, she sends me a text message telling me happy b-day and that she missed talking to me. Since then I haven’t heard anything from her; not a call, not a text, not an email.
I think that when she got back to Philly the boyfriend recognized that there was a chance that he could miss out and that she was willing to explore without him. That is a wake up call to any man. Most men feel that they are so much the center of the world to their woman that she will not step out on them. Most men agree to an open relationship because they know most women will not take them up on the offer of being truly open, but it gives them the chance to do what they want with out getting themselves in trouble.
My theory is that the boyfriend has changed is mind about an open relationship and wants her to be patient with him so that he can give her what she wants. He has probably even said that she had let him down by wanting to explore and she is trying to do him wrong by exploring with another person.
I think she is probably stuck now, because she has put her neck out and started to like me, but has everything invested in this guy. How do I know she likes me? Well she came out and told me she did. In fact she put my picture as the screen saver on her computer. Which was a bit surprising yet flattering. We had only talked for a short period of time. I was intrigued and curious to see what would happen, but I feel like she got caught up in no-mans land and I threaten what she was comfortable with even though he said he didn’t want what she wanted. Which I think is unfortunate in so many ways. We truly had just begun to feel each other out, so it’s no way to know if there was anything even there. No need to run.
We had developed a friendship, so my thing is, why can’t we still communicate? I think she is scarred to contact me because she feels it will jeopardize her situation with her boyfriend. Anybody agree? Or am I just running people away? hmmmmm
It seems to me that they are not ready for how you make them feel. You already know we are emotional creatures as it is and to add pleasure into the mix that we have never felt before is enough to send out emotions into overdrive and then run away. It’s not you baby, you just have a way w/ women that some are not ready for just yet.
Comment by lilsexyme2000 — May 15, 2006 @ 6:23 pm
Honestly, my opinion is that she fed you a lot of bull $#it. I might have misunderstood, so correct me if I am wrong. You have not met this woman in person, only emailed and chatted with her on the phone. Is that correct? If so, I would be awfully scared, not flattered, of someone that put my pic as a screensaver and we haven’t met. Secondly, if she saw a pic of the YM, there is no way in hell that she is asking for anal sex and serious! LOL!! So due the evidence presented before me, I suspect it is one of three options. One, she is crazy as a bed bug and thank God she hasn’t called! Two, you were for entertainment purposes only and now the thrill is gone. Lastly, once she thought about what she was going to do, meet a stranger on the net to have wild sex, she reconsidered. Whatever the reason was, you spared yourself some drama! This was just my uneducated opinion!
Comment by K Boogie — May 15, 2006 @ 10:16 pm
Can’t say if it was on purpose or not - but it seems that you may have sparked something new with her and her man. He had to get on board or get left behind. But if she had to choose between you and the man she’s in love with, of course he would win…
Comment by Ms. Chocolate Orgasms — May 15, 2006 @ 11:30 pm
Maybe it could just be that she is confused and is taking a step back from the situation. Admittedly, she haasn’t handled it in the most mature way, but that just shows how confused she may be. She may really have feelings for you, but she may really also love her man. Alot of people don’t understand how hard it is to have confused…not confused…conflicting emotions. Everything isn’t always black and white. So my advice is…just be patient and supportive of her, she really needs it.
I guess you guys can tell that I have a vested interest in this particular blog…if you think about it you might be able to figure out why.
Comment by sxy_dzyrz — May 16, 2006 @ 3:41 pm
I agree with K Boog…would you ever tell a woman, who was waiting on an attached man to choose between her and his main chic, to just sit by and wait? I’m sure you wouldn’t, and noone should tell you the same. If she really was confused about the situation, then you’re both grown and she should’ve come and talked to you about what she was feeling…not just blow you off and give you the cold shoulder. I say don’t waste any more time…
~MissCandi
Comment by CandiRedd — May 16, 2006 @ 11:56 pm
Just wondering FGM have you ever ran from a female that has put herself out there to you? Alot of women read your blog so I am sure that you have been propositioned. If a women is willing to try any and everthing that you say, will you give her the time of day? Of course this is after meeting and if the attraction is there.
Comment by Anonymous — May 28, 2006 @ 9:30 pm
@Miss Candi - I was not waiting. She was in another city for one and we never have even taken it that far. Which makes the whole thing more crazy. I am one that believes in keep moving on in life and enjoy where you are in life.
@Anonymous - I have had some propositions, most have just been of the flirtatious manner. Probably not nearly as much as people would think. If a woman is willing to do any and everything of course I would give her the time of day, but as you mentioned it would have to be an attraction physically and good communication.
Comment by freakygoodman — May 29, 2006 @ 9:07 am
YOU STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THOSE CRAZY BITCHES. YOU WRITE LIKE YOU MAY BE INTELLIGENT BUT YOU KEEP ON HAVING THE IDEA THAT THESE TROLLS ARE FOR REAL…NEWS YOU CAN USE THEY AINT…NEXT STORY PLEASE IM BORED!!!!!!!!!
Comment by DENISE — August 20, 2008 @ 8:22 pm
YOU STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THOSE CRAZY BITCHES. YOU WRITE LIKE YOU MAY BE INTELLIGENT BUT YOU KEEP ON HAVING THE IDEA THAT THESE TROLLS ARE FOR REAL…NEWS YOU CAN USE THEY AINT…NEXT STORY PLEASE IM BORED!!!!!!!!!
Comment by DENISE — August 20, 2008 @ 11:59 pm